Half-needed relationships,half-willed responsibility
Half of my soul, half a tear, half a moment or two
Half happiness,half smile,half love half-heartedly!
Left me hanging in the skies half a life disgustingly!
Through course of time,souls shall encounter
The skills they lack,arts they must master
But one thing in life i have yet to learn
Love unconditionally,it’s reward yet to earn
In times today, love is only a distraction
Suddenly strong euphoric feelings dissipate
Love’s blindfold is unfolded at end of fete
Party’s over too soon,no sorrow or goodbye
Pretense peels,lies are blasted hard eye to eye
Such an oomph of an affair so easily crumbles
We turn out as others fools,deceited to shambles
Love is as adventurous and quick as a fast lane
People don’t even stop to pick you up when in pain
In terms of today’s love,i’m non-conformist,misfit
And i proudly flaunt i’m a Bohemian,a Maverick!
Better off unworthy,if such kindda love is talent
Ineptitude instead of loveless love i openly vaunt!
Time – when i was desperately aching & bleeding
Dreams of ever-lasting passion were fast receding
Soul wailed loudly,tears tried to prove extenuating
Insufferable wounds were inflicted deep,secreting
But woes-malevolent beasts,ignored spirits pleading
Sinful heart was hurled into pitfall of wails burning
Sanity was nagged into a snare for spellbound undertaking
Eyes, thrown in melting acids were continuosly lamenting
Cells of sinner broiled for adoration-selfishly conceding
Conscience faced accusations of valley of echoes curbing
Then came time – when i took delight to relish repenting
Guilt took pleasure in agony for sacrificing everything
Emotions were expelled with agonies for wrong-doing
Hope was penalized with desperation slowly creeping
Trust was imprisoned never to flee on wings of misleading
And Love was executed in silence, by pain forever alienating!
Fragrance…of Freshly Bloomed Love
Pleura filler with adrenaline rush
Numerous buds protude in every cell
Awaiting flower bomb explosions!
Dandelions of strange sensations spread
Like hair-raising all over the kingdom
Making ears burn,giving hot brows and cheeks
Giving butterflies in stomach,uninvited grins!
Stars in your eyes,Mirror often complimenting you
Weaving dreams in your backpack on knitting needles
Dressed to kill,cutting dash,not a hair out of place
Spread wings flying above rainbows,bitten by the bug!
Exploring the turning pathways of the heart
Never knew, never been to half of it before
Immersed in purity,foreseeing budding affirmation
A soul propagating in a gleaming cover of light!
A courage emancipating your feelings and thoughts
Glitter gets in eyes and glitz moments and hours
Encompassing a world with firm yet delicate twine
Freedom from fears,hate and emotional detachment!
A huge space created in heart,thoughts,time,life!
Lifetime Decesion,which only a heart liable to take
A one time place reserved to one heart only forever
Place where,togetherness flourish and garden grows…
Human thoughts and emotions and extend have always strive
To carve a face,bow before it’s grace,find beauty and dive
My heart found nothing phenominal in such fondness&affection
Craved a soul,without face,without grace,no bonding just connection!
With silence as a medium,eyes as doorways,tears and smiles as modes
We could communicate deepest sentiments with expressions,unsaid odes
Our breaths the songs we sing, heartbeats the tunes we dance upon
Every beauty an ornament of beloved,love with every color and stroke drawn
Nature and it’s sights it adorns, seasons the shades of it’s dynamic nature
In it’s invisible presence,i’m expressed outright,no harm,out of danger!
Not meant to unite,yet deluged,Far apart yet merged as one and only
Absorbed in blood and breath, skin and soul, synced together yet lonely
It touches my heart and soul,appeases my wishes,fills me with light so pure
Such kind of love resides inside me, will die with me, and it has no cure!
The waves of time buffet on my essence in reminiscence
Throwing many shattered memories along it’s shore….
Eyes drown in the pain of flashbacks of hope and hopelessness,
Captivated and constrained,fated and circumstanced,deprived and devoid….
Water from oceans of over-flowing emotions crashes upon my heart,
It rips barriers of my lesions
Forlorn and weary,fortitude gives way and lets sentiments drown the
spirit in inadequacy
A splinter that penetrated way back pangs and twinges through my veins
The retrospect brings wails of my tender heart over my apathy
Cruel Intent which locked it within like a Superintendent
Which imprisoned it in iron cuffs of fear….Fear of Love!
Brain which like a cruel Jailer wrote on the walls of my cell
Love?Love is a weakness, hurts and confiscates
Love?Love is beyond comfort zones, beyond strength!
The Fears danced around the bonfires on the shores of my lifeless corpse
Uneffected by my shrieks and pounds, laughing at my helplessness
Feelings bleeding,bruises-A walk upon shells of my broken dreams perhaps…
Chills of sorrow down my spine and bones owed to coastal winds of loneliness
The tides ebb away….But leave debri of regret on shores of my conscience!
In all the time i ever had…
And the time i ever will have…
All was spent for others
Only one moment was mine
That moment when a pair of eyes caged me within them forever
And my heart imprisoned those eyes till eternity
Maybe that moment was between souls
Prolonged by souls recognizing each other
Feeling & Caressing the auras of intimate acquaintence
Long before arriving on earth
That moment When the souls conversed through the windows
That moment was real….As real as time itself
When everything surrounding deemed unnecessary,irrelevant
When breaths clenched,stood astounded gasping for air
Heart skipped not one but many beats all at once
The pain which bought pleasure…
The ode of silence said so much without a word
But admitted familiarity,recalled from way before times
The sight which brought life to the weary eyes
Then….slowly lights dimmed….
And darkness took over as the bitter cruel fact
The un-uttered pledge of the ties bound by blood
That was made well before in time unconsciously
Took over and seemed fair and essential
In the battle to possess and desire
Conscience supported sacrifice…To forgo…
And true moment slipped from my deliberately opened fists
…like sands of time!
Afterall my heart was indebted to many comforts
By those tighly woven connections
Considering a sin to trespass the barrier of blessings
Price paid by a coveted dream, a wish sacrificed
Most precious desire forsaken!
My innerself locked that moment in the deepest darkest dungeons of heart
Where my soul couldn’t find it,see,sense or feel it!
In it’s selfish sacrifice
It forgot that a pair of eyes kept standing there for years…till…
Till the ladder i held on to and climbed tiringly
Swept from underneath…And there i was…
An Alice falling down a rabbit hole
Disillusioned in my approach that strongest love is born within ties
In ties tied with careful planning and others consent
After i nursed the winding vines with my blood
After i was exhausted by the steps taken in path
Of nurturing bond of love with my life
After the ill-fated pain that was written in my fate became test of love
After i gambled myself, my dreams and wishes
The love wasn’t reciprocated but abandoned!
Abandoned just like pair of eyes that kept staring me in that moment in time
That true moment left behind and ignored deliberately…
I opened my eyes only to find
I was standing in a lonely desert of sorrows
Where only cacti of pain grew,aiming thorns at me
Where thirst grew and couldn’t be quenched
Where even oasis didn’t exist to give false hopes
Where the truthful sun scorched the realms
With it’s light of eye-opening realities
My skin feet and senses…Thoughts and Feelings!
The light of the fact was real…As real as that one moment in time…
No palm trees stood there as landmarks
To guide me…Find me..I lost myself!
Lost amongst dust storms,lost amongst sands of time…
And my mind recalled the agony
In the pair of those painful eyes that stared me
The last time i saw them,
And i couldn’t bear the excruciating questions
That exasperated gaze questioning my ruthlessness
Agitated miseries too sore and harsh to carry
That coarse glance…Rigid beams wounding me…
In deserts of gloom, shame and guilt
My heart carved a path
To a moment in the past…
Reaching which it witnessed
Those pair of eyes were gone…
The same spot my heart stood…Same place in time…
Maybe they worn out waiting,stoned by patience
Consigned to oblivion…Or failed anticipations
Or perhaps prayers my heart sentforth
For carving a path for them to escape
Into ecstacy from this moment in time
Erasing the igniting eye to eye meet
Were answered already…
Maybe those eyes that imprisoned me long ago
Also have a journey to take…A path to walk upon
Just like my unwilling travels through the deserts
Before coming back to the same moment in time again…
But my heart agrees to the justice of times,Karma!
It hopes no more,it desires nothing but verdict,sentence!
Confined in this punishment for its ungratefulness
Vicious cycle of unending miseries
It will remit for indifference,selfishness,merciless tyranny
Pain,sorrows,awaiting,longing and the love denied
Resentment,embarrasement,guilt,even if to no avail…
Some crimes have no penalities…
No matter how preposterous,or futile
This penance will set me free…
From my conscience, lovelessness, perhaps destiny!
I still reside…in the same moment in time!
It has frozen me all over…Except my eyes!
And the eyes try to repent…That moment in time!