I Long for you….
Like leaves wish for trees in autumn
They yearn dearly for impossible
Longing surpasses their lives!
I long for you….
Like a fallen star craves for skies
The light to which it had devoted
But, it’s world has fallen apart!
I long for you….
Like waves rush to coast
No gain but pain,embrace…
Shattering bitterly on rocks
Leaving gems and shells on way back!
Desire so intense i can’t breathe
Neither cry nor laugh,neverending languish
Pierces my heart and soul,makes me hollow
The value of this longing is emptiness!
I want to escape…
Sequels of my past my mind rewinds
Longing to rearrange my memories
But woe is me, can only be re-written
And it takes courage to create new ones!
I want to escape…
Snafues – Miniscule but magnified
Into dissappointments and regrets
Overgrown gigantically to low self-esteem
Resulting in ill belief of worthlessness!
I want to escape…
Weight of the world bringing me down
Keeping ill-moments alive which hurt
Desisting after failures,missteps of qualms
Feeling powerless over what happens to us!
I want to escape…
My Feelings – Landing me in quicksilver
Expectations gone unnoticed, desires unresponded
Aches, tears, sobs,tender hearts can’t bear!
I want to escape…
My nonsense, overthinking panicky mind
Protracted cancerous chemtrails of negativity
Redundant whirlpools eating up will to carry on,
Toppling strength,capitulating my own shadow!
An innocent infant smile – As pure as an angel
Natural emotions unseived right from the heart
Divine cure to my unstringed heart,jaded mind!
Sound of Music – Soothing melodies to my core
Song of life composed in pieces by singing soul
Bringing rhythm to the vehement ardent journey!
Nature – Aligns my gravity in mid of buoyancy
Ties my senses to life and it’s best exhibit
Invigorating view to my sore sight and insight!
So many negatives in the dark room of my life
Yet nothing compares to splash of these colors
Converting all into positives instantaneously!
Fragrance…of Freshly Bloomed Love
Pleura filler with adrenaline rush
Numerous buds protude in every cell
Awaiting flower bomb explosions!
Dandelions of strange sensations spread
Like hair-raising all over the kingdom
Making ears burn,giving hot brows and cheeks
Giving butterflies in stomach,uninvited grins!
Stars in your eyes,Mirror often complimenting you
Weaving dreams in your backpack on knitting needles
Dressed to kill,cutting dash,not a hair out of place
Spread wings flying above rainbows,bitten by the bug!
Exploring the turning pathways of the heart
Never knew, never been to half of it before
Immersed in purity,foreseeing budding affirmation
A soul propagating in a gleaming cover of light!
A courage emancipating your feelings and thoughts
Glitter gets in eyes and glitz moments and hours
Encompassing a world with firm yet delicate twine
Freedom from fears,hate and emotional detachment!
A huge space created in heart,thoughts,time,life!
Lifetime Decesion,which only a heart liable to take
A one time place reserved to one heart only forever
Place where,togetherness flourish and garden grows…
The waves of time buffet on my essence in reminiscence
Throwing many shattered memories along it’s shore….
Eyes drown in the pain of flashbacks of hope and hopelessness,
Captivated and constrained,fated and circumstanced,deprived and devoid….
Water from oceans of over-flowing emotions crashes upon my heart,
It rips barriers of my lesions
Forlorn and weary,fortitude gives way and lets sentiments drown the
spirit in inadequacy
A splinter that penetrated way back pangs and twinges through my veins
The retrospect brings wails of my tender heart over my apathy
Cruel Intent which locked it within like a Superintendent
Which imprisoned it in iron cuffs of fear….Fear of Love!
Brain which like a cruel Jailer wrote on the walls of my cell
Love?Love is a weakness, hurts and confiscates
Love?Love is beyond comfort zones, beyond strength!
The Fears danced around the bonfires on the shores of my lifeless corpse
Uneffected by my shrieks and pounds, laughing at my helplessness
Feelings bleeding,bruises-A walk upon shells of my broken dreams perhaps…
Chills of sorrow down my spine and bones owed to coastal winds of loneliness
The tides ebb away….But leave debri of regret on shores of my conscience!
I love the fragrant breeze…
Tells me of directions where you reside
Caresses my tresses and energizes me
With the will to blow me away to you!
I love the Flowers…
They are as tender as ur heart and emotions
They appeal my senses just like ur voice
And adorn colors just like your eyes!
I love Rains…
Because they drench me in ur showers of love
And cleanse my heart and mind off anything but you
And fill me up with a deep sense of your presence!
I love the Moon & Stars…
They shine brightly as your beaming smile,
Moonlight as pure as your sincere endearing affection
And every night, also attracts your gaze!
I love the Majestic mountains…
Strong, protective to valleys below
Surround them, as you safeguard me
No harm makes way to me as you never allow!
I love nature and everything in it…
Visible in many ways…within you
Which has strings attached, no matter where i wander,
Always leads my heart & mind back to you!
In all the time i ever had…
And the time i ever will have…
All was spent for others
Only one moment was mine
That moment when a pair of eyes caged me within them forever
And my heart imprisoned those eyes till eternity
Maybe that moment was between souls
Prolonged by souls recognizing each other
Feeling & Caressing the auras of intimate acquaintence
Long before arriving on earth
That moment When the souls conversed through the windows
That moment was real….As real as time itself
When everything surrounding deemed unnecessary,irrelevant
When breaths clenched,stood astounded gasping for air
Heart skipped not one but many beats all at once
The pain which bought pleasure…
The ode of silence said so much without a word
But admitted familiarity,recalled from way before times
The sight which brought life to the weary eyes
Then….slowly lights dimmed….
And darkness took over as the bitter cruel fact
The un-uttered pledge of the ties bound by blood
That was made well before in time unconsciously
Took over and seemed fair and essential
In the battle to possess and desire
Conscience supported sacrifice…To forgo…
And true moment slipped from my deliberately opened fists
…like sands of time!
Afterall my heart was indebted to many comforts
By those tighly woven connections
Considering a sin to trespass the barrier of blessings
Price paid by a coveted dream, a wish sacrificed
Most precious desire forsaken!
My innerself locked that moment in the deepest darkest dungeons of heart
Where my soul couldn’t find it,see,sense or feel it!
In it’s selfish sacrifice
It forgot that a pair of eyes kept standing there for years…till…
Till the ladder i held on to and climbed tiringly
Swept from underneath…And there i was…
An Alice falling down a rabbit hole
Disillusioned in my approach that strongest love is born within ties
In ties tied with careful planning and others consent
After i nursed the winding vines with my blood
After i was exhausted by the steps taken in path
Of nurturing bond of love with my life
After the ill-fated pain that was written in my fate became test of love
After i gambled myself, my dreams and wishes
The love wasn’t reciprocated but abandoned!
Abandoned just like pair of eyes that kept staring me in that moment in time
That true moment left behind and ignored deliberately…
I opened my eyes only to find
I was standing in a lonely desert of sorrows
Where only cacti of pain grew,aiming thorns at me
Where thirst grew and couldn’t be quenched
Where even oasis didn’t exist to give false hopes
Where the truthful sun scorched the realms
With it’s light of eye-opening realities
My skin feet and senses…Thoughts and Feelings!
The light of the fact was real…As real as that one moment in time…
No palm trees stood there as landmarks
To guide me…Find me..I lost myself!
Lost amongst dust storms,lost amongst sands of time…
And my mind recalled the agony
In the pair of those painful eyes that stared me
The last time i saw them,
And i couldn’t bear the excruciating questions
That exasperated gaze questioning my ruthlessness
Agitated miseries too sore and harsh to carry
That coarse glance…Rigid beams wounding me…
In deserts of gloom, shame and guilt
My heart carved a path
To a moment in the past…
Reaching which it witnessed
Those pair of eyes were gone…
The same spot my heart stood…Same place in time…
Maybe they worn out waiting,stoned by patience
Consigned to oblivion…Or failed anticipations
Or perhaps prayers my heart sentforth
For carving a path for them to escape
Into ecstacy from this moment in time
Erasing the igniting eye to eye meet
Were answered already…
Maybe those eyes that imprisoned me long ago
Also have a journey to take…A path to walk upon
Just like my unwilling travels through the deserts
Before coming back to the same moment in time again…
But my heart agrees to the justice of times,Karma!
It hopes no more,it desires nothing but verdict,sentence!
Confined in this punishment for its ungratefulness
Vicious cycle of unending miseries
It will remit for indifference,selfishness,merciless tyranny
Pain,sorrows,awaiting,longing and the love denied
Resentment,embarrasement,guilt,even if to no avail…
Some crimes have no penalities…
No matter how preposterous,or futile
This penance will set me free…
From my conscience, lovelessness, perhaps destiny!
I still reside…in the same moment in time!
It has frozen me all over…Except my eyes!
And the eyes try to repent…That moment in time!