In all the time i ever had…
And the time i ever will have…
All was spent for others
Only one moment was mine
That moment when a pair of eyes caged me within them forever
And my heart imprisoned those eyes till eternity
Maybe that moment was between souls
Prolonged by souls recognizing each other
Feeling & Caressing the auras of intimate acquaintence
Long before arriving on earth
That moment When the souls conversed through the windows
That moment was real….As real as time itself
When everything surrounding deemed unnecessary,irrelevant
When breaths clenched,stood astounded gasping for air
Heart skipped not one but many beats all at once
The pain which bought pleasure…
The ode of silence said so much without a word
But admitted familiarity,recalled from way before times
The sight which brought life to the weary eyes
Then….slowly lights dimmed….
And darkness took over as the bitter cruel fact
The un-uttered pledge of the ties bound by blood
That was made well before in time unconsciously
Took over and seemed fair and essential
In the battle to possess and desire
Conscience supported sacrifice…To forgo…
And true moment slipped from my deliberately opened fists
…like sands of time!
Afterall my heart was indebted to many comforts
By those tighly woven connections
Considering a sin to trespass the barrier of blessings
Price paid by a coveted dream, a wish sacrificed
Most precious desire forsaken!
My innerself locked that moment in the deepest darkest dungeons of heart
Where my soul couldn’t find it,see,sense or feel it!
In it’s selfish sacrifice
It forgot that a pair of eyes kept standing there for years…till…
Till the ladder i held on to and climbed tiringly
Swept from underneath…And there i was…
An Alice falling down a rabbit hole
Disillusioned in my approach that strongest love is born within ties
In ties tied with careful planning and others consent
After i nursed the winding vines with my blood
After i was exhausted by the steps taken in path
Of nurturing bond of love with my life
After the ill-fated pain that was written in my fate became test of love
After i gambled myself, my dreams and wishes
The love wasn’t reciprocated but abandoned!
Abandoned just like pair of eyes that kept staring me in that moment in time
That true moment left behind and ignored deliberately…
I opened my eyes only to find
I was standing in a lonely desert of sorrows
Where only cacti of pain grew,aiming thorns at me
Where thirst grew and couldn’t be quenched
Where even oasis didn’t exist to give false hopes
Where the truthful sun scorched the realms
With it’s light of eye-opening realities
My skin feet and senses…Thoughts and Feelings!
The light of the fact was real…As real as that one moment in time…
No palm trees stood there as landmarks
To guide me…Find me..I lost myself!
Lost amongst dust storms,lost amongst sands of time…
And my mind recalled the agony
In the pair of those painful eyes that stared me
The last time i saw them,
And i couldn’t bear the excruciating questions
That exasperated gaze questioning my ruthlessness
Agitated miseries too sore and harsh to carry
That coarse glance…Rigid beams wounding me…
In deserts of gloom, shame and guilt
My heart carved a path
To a moment in the past…
Reaching which it witnessed
Those pair of eyes were gone…
The same spot my heart stood…Same place in time…
Maybe they worn out waiting,stoned by patience
Consigned to oblivion…Or failed anticipations
Or perhaps prayers my heart sentforth
For carving a path for them to escape
Into ecstacy from this moment in time
Erasing the igniting eye to eye meet
Were answered already…
Maybe those eyes that imprisoned me long ago
Also have a journey to take…A path to walk upon
Just like my unwilling travels through the deserts
Before coming back to the same moment in time again…
But my heart agrees to the justice of times,Karma!
It hopes no more,it desires nothing but verdict,sentence!
Confined in this punishment for its ungratefulness
Vicious cycle of unending miseries
It will remit for indifference,selfishness,merciless tyranny
Pain,sorrows,awaiting,longing and the love denied
Resentment,embarrasement,guilt,even if to no avail…
Some crimes have no penalities…
No matter how preposterous,or futile
This penance will set me free…
From my conscience, lovelessness, perhaps destiny!
I still reside…in the same moment in time!
It has frozen me all over…Except my eyes!
And the eyes try to repent…That moment in time!
In all the time i ever had…